here it comes again

for a very long time..it hasnt happened to me..today it did..on this fateful day..i felt terrible..smthing inside me is choking me.........leaving me breathless...leaving me drained emotionally..i bet this question will pop in...'hey, wats wrong?wanna share?' ok this is wat i will reply..'nth is wrong..or rather..i do NOT know wat the hell is wrong.' typical answer i always give huh...get used to it ppl..

didnt tok much to anyone else other than those muthafuckers (extracted from milo's blog) who called in to ask dumb question..there's even one prudential idiot posing as a policyholder asking for information..asked eadric to use his phone to call the PH's mobile and found out i'm not speaking to the ph at all!! bloody idiot..wasted my 10mins tokking to u! ok..let's not side track..like i said..didnt tok much...no mood at all..everyone can tell there's smthing wrong with me..allan tried to tease me like how he does it everyday..it didnt work to make mi laugh this time..all i can do is to smirk.....allan allan allan...allan jabines. lol..i'm crazy. yes i am.

i'm lost in my own world..i feel i have always been selfish to the men who enters into a r.s with me...i feel i always ill treat them..though they are always there and willing to sacrifice for me..i dunno why i cannot make myself able to love whole heartedly again.....i dunno why i dunno why i dunno why.i simply cannot understand why i am still so caught up in things which happened in the past.i'm always victimising myself...and it's smthing which i never wanna admit.i always make it seem the whole world owes me. which of cuz is not the case.

side track-Deep Vein Thrombosis is a blood clot (thrombosis) that forms in the deep vein system of the lower leg--usually between the ankle and the upper calf. The condition is serious, potentially fatal, and very difficult to diagnose by external examination. Symptoms, if they occur, might include muscle tension in the lower leg, a dull ache or sudden painful tear, or a cramp in the calf with swelling and elevated body temperature.Symptoms rarely occur, though, since the clot formation may develop very rapidly, detach from the wall of the vein and move through the blood stream before anyone recognizes what's happening. The clot may travel through the veins and lodge in the heart or more likely in the lungs, resulting in sudden death. If the clot remains lodged in the legs, very serious damage may occur to the vein, or even to the leg's entire venous system. Clots can cause tissue damage, skin lesions, ulceration, and possibly removal of the limb.

no specific reason why i copy and paste the above segment..a little pc of info i guess.

i feel terrible nw..i'm sorry.........i just dunno how to make things better.........