torn...

feel torn and tattered..i am talking abt my heart....pls lemmi explain whatever i said or am going to say are nt words to victimise myself..mostly..i'm just trying to vent my frustrations..perhaps now i do realise...the best way is still by blogging as it will not give you any additional negative comments esp in times when u feel down...

i feel i take friendship too hard and too seriously but i cant make myself take it lightly..i understand everyone has got diff perception on the meaning of friendship but never did i expect smthing so crude from others...

being good to smone...never have i asked for returns...but it's inevitable that human long to feel wanted at times...wanted by family, friends or lovers...but it holds a different meaning from asking for returns altogether...can human really expect nothing after putting in effort for smthing? do you tell mi you dun expect good results for yr test if you had put in effort studying hard for it? u mean u can just lightly accept that you failed your exams and you dont feel you havent done more for it and no slight remorse at all?

if u can...well i am sorry i cant.....well..i am not fit to use test or exams for examples but for me...it holds the same meaning..the only difference is one is relationship and one is test...it's abt hoping (rather than using the word 'want') for good returns.....

i dunno who else can relate to what i had said or truly able to accept n understand how i feel..or is everyone else opposite from mi? if it's true..perhaps it's time for mi to wake up and learn to take things lightly...but pls smone explain to me...what is then, the meaning of life if we take friendship lightly? i know u still have family..but how often can you share yr personal feelings with them?

oh guardian angel...where art thou?