going bonkers

wow...it's a saturday today and hey! i'm wide awake nw!guess wat..i'm supposed to be wking today...at 8am...but gosh i overslept..maybe i am too tired after yesterday night's 'outing' at excape theme park...sheesh...i'm such a coward and yet i went to play those rides...like mini viking...the flume ride( the ride which you will slide down and water will splash?)haha..gawd...i sat tt with karen(colleague) and we tot that it was over after the first mini slide...the 'boat' flowed realli slowly towards the gate of the HUMONGOUS slide!! we werent even prepared for it!!!! we started to scream and laughed hysterically right after the boat started to go up! hahah...and yeah..u can imagine us once the boat reached the peak and DOWN it slided!!! i screamed like i was raped or smthing? gawd....we were really drenched!! i was wearing jeans...had to walk ard in heavy jeans..yeah...as usual...my 'sugar daddy' carlo laughed at mi like hell...wat to do.....it was realli HIGH wat....keke...hmm..too bad couldnt stay over at our chalet last night...coz gotta work today..but.....yeah......i'm at hm in the end....

will be having a bbq later at the chalet with my colleagues and will be staying over tonight...hmm..still thinking of wat we can do after the bbq..explore haunted plcs like what teenagers will do? hahah...but we are old!!! lame....but stil...i'll be scared...hahah...coward i am...well...will updte soon again after the bbq..tt is if i remember though...hahah

influence

just so happen to read my fren's blog...kinda sad tt in life..you will actually have to stop and think of who are yr real frens..but tt's just life...there are always new ppl entering yr life...but there will be people who leave you as well...life's a cycle...tt nobody can escape or avoid..it just depends on hw u handle it..if you do it good...GOOD for you...otherwise...then too bad...but duh...life has to go on...you can whine abt it for wks and mths..but wth...you will get tired of it..people ard you gets sick of it too...frens....once u decided yr path in life....live and walk thru it happily..there's no point in regretting....never have the word Regret in your dictionary!!

frens in general...are ppl who spend time with you doing nonsensical things...there's actually no need to grp or classify frens into diff categories...coz...u will never noe what each and every one of your frens can do for you...yeah true enuff that smtimes yr frens may act or behave in a childish way...or maybe...to you...they will only be there to have fun tog and run off when u are in trouble...tts nt true yeah..coz...in the first plc...did u even try to seek help from them? coz well..at least to me...my frens are always there for mi in times of happiness and of coz...when i am down....yes...it's the same grp of ppl....so why nt try to open up to them...then...judge if they are truly worth yr frenship...

does anyone have this feeling b4...tt...u so dun wish to be pissed coz u noe tt there is no point in doing so becoz this isnt the first time anymore but eventually u still get pissed?cant blame u...coz..this kinda of feeling is totally uncontrollable...if u wanna get pissed there and then...den pls get pissed for all you wan...dun bottle yr emotions up and...in the end...become a time bomb and kill everyone ard you together....why sacrifice all yr frens or family or even strangers and acquintances?but the main point is...after getting pissed...you will know hw to cool off and tok things out with the culprit or to get some help from other sources to solve your problem...simple huh...but it does help...though it does nt guarantee tt it works...get the difference....

was tokking to one of my frens...via msn...suddenly we switched to a topic abt vampires...he hoped tt he will become one coz he will be able to live forever...and he will of coz bite the one he loves so that she can live with him forever...nw here...i have a different point of view..i will wanna die b4 my love...i cant imagine what my life will be without a partner or what life will be having to live alone....he said tt that is a selfish thought coz i never think of hw and the kinda of life the one i love will be living after i die..well...which human being isnt selfish...which human being are generous enuff to share the love with another party...get wat i am trying to say...it means tt...which r/s consist of 3 ppl?nw...this is getting out of point...i shall stop.....

human beings love it when they are given assurance...and they will tend to pin high hopes but in the end...disappointed....u cant blame the person who assured you in the first plc...they did nt say tt it's got 'money back guarantee' right...get wat i mean...dun pin high hopes...coz eventually the one who has to face the disappointments is u!!

the end...my eyes..are shutting......

life's a bitch

today is a thursday...finished work at 10pm..slogged like hell..nobody noes..got home...finally...sat down comfotably in front of the com..yes..again....got online...tot could find sm frens to relax and have a chat...saw matt...msged him and asked hw's his day....meiting msged mi.....tot there will be smthing nice to hear from her...but guess wat...it's yet another scandalous affair her superior has....just few wks ago...she told mi abt the affair our common fren's hubby has got....it's another one nw....

the kinda of feeling in mi is just so indescribale....it juz sounds so ridiculous when i'm getting to noe more n more abt such scandalous news...at first i tot tt my family is bad enuff..i mean the men yeah...but...it seems like it's the same for the world outside my life...

in a woman's life...it seems like we are juz born into this world to be slaves...why do i say tt? well look....we are born...u are lucky if yr father's family isnt those conservative type...u noe wat i mean...they prefer male heir..if u are a gal....tts it....they wun even wanna treat u as their grandchildren yeah...slowly...you grew...to be a girl...studystudystudy...parents comparing results...curfews...' gal ah...wat time alrdy??better come hm NW!'...guess alot of us gals experience tt yeah...pagers beeping non stop(well tt was when i was a sch gal)..mums screaming at the top of their voices like they wanna make the whole flat collaspe..nx stage....grew up to be teenagers...when well of coz...like many others..started to fall in love with teenage boys...tts when yr mum get even more freaky..i mean..they get freaked out easily if they find out u are attached!!lucky u if u manage to find a guy who is sweety oh sweet and your r/s last till marriage...but wtf....most of the time u have to experience getting ditched and the pain...omg.....cried non stop...gotta suffer with swollen eyes...and becoming the gossip of the mth in sch....well...wat the hell...

nx...u start to work....workworkworkwork...tts all we can do....getting stressed up and all..nobody to tok to...mum will just keep nagging at you for nth...i think it's just their hobby?it's also a time when u will start worrying when u can find a husband and get married...well...one fine day...u found the 'one'...at first u tot he will be...first stage u have to undergo is to meet yr mother in law who may be a witch!!!! lucky u if she isnt then...and then...happily married for a few yrs..have kids...u just tot tts life..the way it shd be.......gosh...one day...u found out smthing...smthing tt u tot will never happen to u or it'll juz happen in dramas...you found tt he has.......yes......another woman.....GOD DAMN IT!!! and if u are lucky enuff...he'll leave the woman and you will live happily ever after...but....wat if he chooses to be with tt bitch??? worse still...he'll choose to leave the kids too...gosh...wat on earth are u still doing here?shdnt u be in hell?

life...wat is it?torment?or gift from God?

trying to be a philosopher

kinda forgot i still have a blog until matt reminded me last night while chilling out at coffee club.so it's time to remind my frens tt i'm still ard...past two mths was a fulfilling one..went through alot of shit and of coz there are many things tt will leave as a memory in my life. my life was practically revolving ard my grp of close frens and of coz jo. bumming ard after work or over the wkends enjoying the free time i have other than just work where i feel like i'm a slave to this world. like wat weiliang said in his blog, office jobs are indeed mandane..the life to be exact. you only see these few ppl everyday, nth more to say to one another other than bitching abt other colleagues or tt the company is dumb. is this the kind of life i really want? now i'm thinking. finally started to think.the truth will be out smday....whenever tt will be...

smone new just entered my life...dunno if it is a gd thing or it's screwing up my life(perhaps i am the one screwing my own life). of coz there are times when i feel really wonderful and i cant feel anyone else ard me other than my precious one...i would want to give up everything just to carry on this r/s. but however, life always has it's downhill where once you lost control, you will fall and get hurt real bad...this is the time when u will be so weak to stand up strong again. without a helping hand, you will just sit on the ground,whining and cursing and get stuck there. God knows when you'll stand again. When we were just babies, we were able to stand up again after a fall while learning to walk. But why does life have to be this way 22yrs later?did we depend on our mothers bak then and now that we are facing this shit again we do not know where to get help from even though obviously wat you need to do is just to call out and there will be ppl rushing to provide you with the assistance you need and to shower you with the care and concern you need but we just dunno hw to call out anymore? is it becoz you feel ashamed to do tt or u dun trust the ppl ard you?

quarrels are unavoidable in every r/s.but at the end of the day,the most impt thing is whether you learn smthing through it. promises are meant to be kept but wat the hell, promises are broken everyday too. the proportion to the ones kept and to the ones broken are way too far apart, obviously i'm saying tt the ones broken are much more.why promise smone smthing for the sake of coaxing tt person and you dont mean it?wat do u get from it?the person who gets hurt real bad will be the one who was promised with smthing she/he can never see happening. human beings are funny creatures, we noe for sure that smtimes, smthings will never happen but when we are promised with smthing, we feel assured and comfortable, we will stop being paranoid.and when we realised that the promise had been broken, we will start whining and cursing but have we ever reprimanded ourselves as to why we actually fell for tt in the first place?i think we shd really start adopting the habit of being responsible for watever we had done.is it tt difficult?are promises really so hard to keep?

it's been 2mths since this r/s started, all i can remember is i'm just so happy whenever we spent time together but why does another party has to revolve in our lives and causing friction between the two of us?or am i the one who keeps rubbing things in?would anyone in this world wanna do tt for no reason..but well..at least nt for me...hw long can i tolerate the pressure i face and hw long can i continue to be paranoid and enjoying it at the same time?it's really a test for me....but fear is there...that i wont be able to stand up strong again.......should i just blame myself for all the stress i have to take?will there be help when i need it...?